I have heard it said that God does not really care who your spouse is. You pick one and God just gives you a thumbs up whichever one you select. It has worked for some, I don’t think it would work for me. I am of the school of thought that God is so purposeful and specific that he knows the spouse who will work for me, and if I allow him to intervene, he will point out the specific one that is best for me. Kind of in the same way he chose a King for Israel in 1 Samuel 16.
Let me start by saying that I do not trust my own ability to choose. I am too human to look at the right things. I would be too focused on his height, complexion, education, job etc… I prefer to let God analyse a man because God see’s the heart of the man. The core of him. I don’t want a man who looks good on the outside but has a rotten core. I want one whose goodness flows from the inside out.
I like the way this story starts. Samuel is mourning the fact that Saul has grieved God and is now rejected by him. God on the other hand has moved on. Reminds me of how we mourn past relationships that did not work out. While we are stuck on that guy or girl that walked away, God nudges us on the shoulder and says, “How long will you mourn for him or her?” God already has another plan. He says, “Fill your horn with oil and be on your way.” It is time to anoint someone else to be the love of your life. Forget that one. And the cool thing is that if you listen for the voice of the Lord, he will send you somewhere specific.
Another cool thing that God says to Samuel that I absolutely appreciate is (vs 3) “I will show you what to do.” God knows how to capture the attention of that guy or girl that he has pointed out to you. He knows what they like and what will make them look at you twice. Listen to his voice and follow his instruction. He will show you exactly what to do. In the same way that Naomi gave Ruth instruction, God will give you instruction as well.
You are to anoint the one I indicate! Do you know that God is not so busy running the world that he will not specifically help you select a mate? He wants to be so intimately involved in your life that he can point one out and say, “Baby girl, that one!” Ask the Lord to indicate the one that will be the best for you. He is faithful to do just that, but you have to give him room and permission to do so because he has given you free will and he will not revoke it.
Interestingly, the strategy God chooses for this anointing service is a sacrifice. The laying down of a life. Relationships and marriages work better when both parties are dead…to self. Selecting a mate is choosing to die to yourself and saying that from this day forward I will consider him or her as better than I. I will lay down my own needs and put his or hers before mine. But in order to take part in a sacrifice one had to consecrate! To be made pure and holy in the sight of God.
Now this is interesting to me. I am on my way to anoint a mate that God will choose for me but I need to consecrate myself and be ready for sacrifice. Why consecrate though? Because the filth that we collect as we are in contact with this world has a way of clogging our sensitivity to the Spirit of God. We can’t hear right, we can’t see right and we sure can’t speak right. The choice of a mate is not one that you make with clogged sensitivity to the Spirit realm. You must consecrate so that you can tune into God’s frequency without the static and hear clearly when he says “this is the one.”
And so Jesse’s son’s start passing before Samuel one after the other. Sammy takes one look at the oldest one and his flesh leaps for joy “Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord!” he says. God gives him a sideways look and shakes his head. Then he gives a piece of advice that anyone selecting a mate should take heed of.
“Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
The female version of that warning is found in Proverbs 31:30
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Sammy let’s him go. The son’s of Jesse keep passing before him, 7 in all and still none can be found. Now 7 is the number of fullness. We have all been there. You thought this was surely going to be the one and then that relationship did not work out. You have dated several people without success and finally “number 7” has passed by. It looks like there is no right man or woman for you. You know you are meant to get married but there does not seem to be a match for you anywhere. Don’t despair! God always has an ace up his sleeve!
So Sammy looks at Jesse with a puzzled look on his face and asks, “Are these all the sons you have?” In essence he is asking God “Where’s the ace?” And Jesse, rolls his eyes and sighs with annoyance before confessing, “There is still the youngest.”
What’s with God and the youngest anyway? Jacob was younger than Esau and he was made first. Ephraim came after Manasseh and yet God made him first. Joseph was the second last and God elevated him above his brothers. Do not despise the youngest. God has some kind of anointing on these last born’s.
Enter David right out of the wilderness where he was minding the sheep. And now the Spirit of the Lord within Samuel leaps for joy as God gives the order, “Rise and anoint him; he is the one!”
And guess what? Just because he was God’s choice did not mean that he was ugly! Some people think that if they let God in on mate selection he will give you some strange looking person and say, “Have at it!” LOL! God is not wicked! And again, what you consider ugly may be hot to the next person. There is someone for everyone.
He will bring a person who will be attractive to you all round. You will be physically attracted to him or her, you will connect mentally and emotionally as well. And you will definitely click spiritually. This thing of thinking that God does not know your tastes or your preferences is of the devil. You are so afraid that God will bring you a dud that you dare not trust him. Not your portion!!
David was ruddy – healthy looking, with a fine appearance. You heard that right! The boy was fine!! And he had handsome features! How now?!! That is my portion indeed!
You can select in the flesh or in the Spirit. You can make selecting a mate a Do-It-Yourself project or you can ask God to become intimately involved in making this most important choice. My prayer is that you will involve God completely from the very beginning.